My source code should not compile.
--A CS professor who shall remain nameless

Windows NT is a server operating system. Netware is a server operating system. I'm not sure if UNIX can be a server operating system.
--another professor who shall remain nameless

I just changed some names, so that's why I can claim that that algorithm is my own.
--a computer engineering student whose name I can't pronounce

I don't think Microsoft is evil in itself; I just think that they make really crappy operating systems.
--Linus Torvalds

The nerves are a problem on trumpet, because when you mess up everyone can hear it. Just remember most people are too polite to say anything about it. That should calm your nerves.
--Wynton Marsalis

We cross our bridges when we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and a presumption that our eyes once watered.
--Tom Stoppard, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead

It did. Then I started teaching C++ to the electrical engineers and when the EE students started to out-program the CS students, the CS department switched to C++.
--Bjarne Stroustrup, regarding Texas A&M's use of Java as a first programming language